Oh Child of Mine...

Most people treat you differently when you get cancer, but not your own children. Your own kids might shriek with joy when you arrive and cry when you leave, but they will also throw fits and misbehave just like any other day. They will make you feel like nothing has ever changed. And believe me, if you happen to be wallowing in self-pity, nothing will bring you out faster than a precocious three-year-old.

I was at home the other day on a precious leave of absence from the hospital. The first few times I had been home, my son would sob for me to stay, which of course always made me cry. So on this particular visit, I was dreading the emotional departure. We were eating dinner, and my son looked up at me with his big gorgeous eyes.

“Mommy, are you leaving soon?”

Bracing for the outburst, I nodded. “Yes, baby, I have to go back to the hospital for more medicine.”

He shrugged.  “Ok.”

Surprised by his nonchalance, I asked: “Why, honey? Do you want me to go to the hospital?”

“Yes.”

“Why would you want Mommy to go back to the hospital?”

 “Because then I get to watch Cars.”

My husband, in an attempt to stave off another fit about my departure, had promised him that they would watch Cars together after I left. My son might love me and miss me terribly, but the promise of animated talking cars is still way cooler than Mommy.

A few days later, he didn’t want my mom to leave (he has been having a very hard time with anyone leaving lately). He asked her why she had to go to the hospital too. She said it was so that Mommy didn’t have to be all alone.

His response? “Mommy’s not alone. She has all the doctors and nurses to keep her company.”

Oh child of mine. I love you madly.